Not good enough

Do not get complacent.

It’s just so easy to make excuses. It’s so easy.

It’s easy to get angry at some VC that didn’t get it. At a client that didn’t have the guts to work with an unproven startup. At the market. At an asset class. At the weather.

At that one guy who hasn’t subscribed and won’t read this.

Man, it’s so easy to make those excuses. But that ain’t it.

The truth is that I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I was good, but not good enough. And I have to be better.

Fletcher was the hero, not the villain.

My kid has been on GPT for a year, and it’s been telling him all sorts of fantasies, like he can build these AI Agents that’ll make him a millionaire without having to break a sweat.

And I talked to him. I explained to him. I broke that bubble. I crushed his dreams.

It had to be done. I had to do it. I had to.

I want him to aim for good, not great. If he can be good I can rest easy. Great is a scary goal for an anxious parent.

But was I talking to him, or was I talking to myself?

Maybe I’m not as good as I thought. Maybe I’m not good enough.

That’s what I’ve been struggling with lately.

Did I fill them with enthusiasm? Did I leave them with a sense of urgency?

Did I anticipate, did I prepare, did I listen?

Maybe some days. Other days less so.

But it’s easier to complain and make excuses.

Excuses. I can give all these reasons why. I can pontificate about luck or market cycles.

Resulting, or excuse making?

Or maybe they were never serious. Or they were never liquid. Or the timing was off.

Or I just wasn’t good enough.

I’m still a work in progress. I’m still getting better. I’m still trying.

I still believe that one day I’ll discover the knuckleball and make it to the show. There’s no age limit on that dream either.

And thank God, by the way, because imagine if everything was just peachy. Imagine if I could sit back with the smug satisfaction of someone who fulfilled all their dreams on the first try. What fun would that be? What carrot would I be chasing now?

I’ve designed for myself a life full of purpose and meaning

What a boring and unfulfilling life that would be, not needing to prove myself still.

The excuses might sound smarter every year. But that doesn’t matter. I’m not good enough today. Tomorrow maybe I will be.